HOLIDAY STRESS?

Doing too much for the holiday season? Others expecting too much from you? The real question is… are you expecting too much from yourself?

Is your list endless of "to do's" that are really all about the stories you're telling yourself. "I have to clean before I leave. I have to change the oil in the car. I have to… I have to…

STOP! Who says you do? Where are those little voices coming from? Are they telling you that you're not good enough if you don't?

Take a look again and see if you can eliminate something. Try doing only the things that bring you joy! Try to eliminate anything that you use the word "should' before. Is there something that you can ask for help with? Will you ask? Will you accept it the way they do it without having to have it done your way?

Can you relax? Can you breathe?  Try to not think of the holidays as a destination but a journey. Be in the moment with each adventure and enjoy the things that you say YES to!

THE SKY IS FALLING…THE SKY IS FALLING!!!

Do you have any friends that live for drama? They seem to be addicted to negativity. If you ask how they're doing they give a litany of complaints and end with, "It is what it is!" 

OMG! Kill me now! 

It's so draining to be around this negative energy. I've been able to identify a couple of reasons for it. 

I understand it, I used to be one to a degree. There was guilt associated with things going well or my being happy. Why? Because other people aren't? Because I was about working and there couldn't possibly be space for feeling happy. I was a martyr and look what I was giving up and doing for others… How could there be room for me to be happy? Can't you see what I've given up for you?

While finishing up my next book, A Year in a Suitcase, it brought back to my attention of my stay in Ireland. I noticed that most of the older people I stayed with had "The Sky is Falling Syndrome!"Theirs was based on their past fears.

It doesn't really matter why one thrives on drama but the truth is that negative or positive  energy attracts more of the same! So if you want good things to come your way one has to change their energy vibration and that can be as simple as changing what you watch on the boob tube, what you read and who you hang around with. 

The Sky is Falling…. it's simply a matter of perception! Keep calm… and carry on! And have FUN while doing it:) 

TIME FOR PAUSING….PERSONAL VISION QUESTING

Recently, I've accompanied two clients on vision quests, and had my own personal one recently as well.

A Vision Quest is simply a time that one pauses and watches for all the signs of support from spirit.

Vision Quests happen for different reasons but basically, one just takes time away from the normal mundane challenges of everyday life.

If you're feeling stuck, if you're job is boring or you just feel like you need a change, a vision quest maybe the answer.

Take some time just for you! However that looks, from an hour to a day of reflection, road trip or vacation! Just be sure to watch for signs of support from spirit. What animals do you notice? What numbers are you seeing? Words on signs or in songs that are playing, forms you see in the clouds or trees. Take a minute to jot them down for further reflection later.  You'll begin to see where you need to make changes in your life. Simply an attitude adjustment or perhaps a physical change.  HAPPY QUESTING.

SMARTPHONES

With the trend being about living consciously and staying present in the moment, I find that traveling keeps you mindful. When in unfamiliar territory, you have to pay attention to the streets and landmarks in order to navigate unfamiliar terrain. Or maybe, if you're like me, you rely on your smartphone to get you around.

Recently I found out just how much I've come to rely on my phone when I drove my cousin to the airport in her home town in the early morning hours and I left my iPhone in her house.

No big deal…so I thought! I had committed to memory how to get back from the airport. But one wrong turn and I was lost! I was surprised how vulnerable I felt with my companion.

When I stopped to ask directions, I couldn't even say where I was going…."Uh, do you know the way to my cousin's house?" No addresses, no phone numbers, no money for gas…which was running low because of my excursion heading toward a neighboring state.

Watching the signs of spirit support, I began questioning the direction I was headed when every single  street I crossed had me stopping at a red light. Then I began noticing street names that I knew were the opposite way from her house. Once I turned around, the lights were green all the way back. 

I realized how I've come to depend too much on all the many features of my smartphone. My daughter asked, "How'd you do it before smartphones?" "Easy, we committed things to memory!" I know only one phone number besides mine, without my phone! Amazing! I did make it back, but now I have to reevaluate the fact that I'm trusting my whole life's worth of information in one device.  (Yes, The Cloud, back up etc…but none of it helps without a device to access it.)

IT DOESN'T MATTER...

it doens't matter

it doesn't matter what the soul uses for it's growth
all paths lead to growth and adventure

what matters is that you're awake and conscious while moving through whatever it is that you're moving through

it doesn't matter if I buy the house or not

it doesnt' matter if I leave on a trip or not

it doesn't matter if you loose or make money....it's the journey....life is a journey....it's not a destination....once you think you've arrived..you're done! 

one you move, buy the house, get the job or have the baby....what's next? 

and as long as we stay in our comfort zones....we stay complacent...we think we know...we move through life rotely...

what's around the riverbend? 

it doens't matter if I stay or go...

what matters is that I am paying attention to the little voices inside....what are they saying...who is hurting, who is scared, who needs to be loved, who needs to feel safe

it's simply the soul's journey…evolution

Embrace Change: Adventure is out there! 

AUTUMNAL EQUINOX - AN OPPORTUNITY TO PAUSE AND RE-EVALUATE

Are you living the life you dream of? Are you disappointed that you can no longer do the things you used to? Or maybe you're not enjoying the same things that you have in the past? 

Fall…The Autumnal Equinox, (the same hours of daylight and nighttime) is the perfect time to pause and regain balance in your life. The fall is a perfect time to pause and re-evaluate what's happening in your life. What do you like? What do you want to change?  Can you see things from another view point? Recently I had a client who was disappointed that she didn't go to the opening of the symphony…something that she has always loved to do in the past.

The opportunity..... stop and really feel into... how do you really feel about the symphony now? (Or whatever is important to you...insert your own word.) Could it be a real sense of loss or just the realization that everything changes and what was once important is no longer so. Things aren't better or worse.... they're just different!

It's imperative to honor how you're feeling and if it is a sense of loss then it's important to acknowledge that. But remember, you always have options. What if you looked at things from a possibility viewpoint…everything is possible! 

For example…Let's say you didn't attend the opening night of the symphony because you no longer linked  driving to the big city at night. What could some options be?

1. Ask a friend who is interested in the same thing that you are to go along and be the driver.

2. Drive in the afternoon, get a hotel, enjoy  a lovely dinner out, then attend the symphony…You know…make it a mini vacation.

3. Or, after careful consideration, "Do  still love the symphony or is it not really as important as it once was?  

You are always in choice! You get to decide!

For myself, I too am taking time to pause, reflect, evaluate, a personal vision quest in Kansas.

Happy Pausing!

We Plan and God Laughs

Remember the ropes course I did a few weeks back? Well, it seems like it's time to put the theory into practice. Letting go of what's holding you back…(the rope you're desperately holding onto)…perceived security... in order to move forward towards your dream.

The truth is….is what I'm doing now…working for a spa…moving me closer to my goal of speaking? No. Period. The answer is no. There's the hope that it would turn into something else, but the answer for now is clearly no.

I've been offered an opportunity to move in with my dear friend and help with his transition, what I do and am good at. Why would I say no? When I remember that I'm on assignment, that I work for Spirit and that I am free to move where the doors open, then the answer would clearly be yes. I go in support of helping others in transition. It's what I've chosen. So why am I panty-twisting?

Second guessing myself? In a retreat I'm currently facilitating, it's clearly about the journey. Why is this different? Because I had in my mind...the way my life should look….conjured up in my head…and now…it's not working the way that I thought it should…Who Cares? Me…my being perceived as someone who can't hold a job…etc…my own self judgments. Now even though this move is a better financial move and one that will help me to get this third book finished and published, I still judge myself.

"What about your cousins and daughter coming to see you? That'll be over! What about, what about, what about?" I continue with my mind-fuck. "You're apartment and the city and and and.." All illusions. We plan and God laughs.

Why, just two days ago, I spent time….a lot of time…looking at houses to buy downtown and fix up and live in. It would be easy to qualify for a loan with a 'job'! Now???

"Get out of your head and into your body,"my shaman reminds me. "Breathe….feel into it….not what you're thinking, but what you're feeling….And what feels right is that I work for Spirit and free to be on assignment. Period. And everything else is just stuff….

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN….DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD!

I just received a call from my ex puppy breeder wanting to know if I wanted her mommy dog who just gave birth to three pups. 

I had been thinking about getting a dog…not a puppy, the timing seemed good and so I was intrigued. I told her to keep me posted. When I had gotten Benjamin Buttons, my plan was to have enough money so that when I traveled, he could go to doggie-care. I quickly realized that I wasn't home enough even when I wasn't traveling to have another responsibility.

The day before the call, I had just said to my neighbor, "We should get a dog! We could dog share!" He declined, but said he'd visit….LOL.

Yesterday another call; did I want the mom and three pups. The condo she is now living in has an ordnance against having animals and she needs someone to take the litter. 

After talking with my daughter, whom we've had numerous puppy adventure's together, said, "Mom, some people have addictions to food, shopping, etc. We have a Shituzu puppy addiction!" 

Well, if you want to put it that way! It's true! 

I've taken this next week off of work and could have gone north to pick them up. Thank God, I've committed myself to a couple of other projects! Otherwise, I'd be on the road, I'm afraid!  Especially after I pulled up the picture to put on this post, my heart sunk again. Dang! They're just so cute! I guess for now, I'll just have to wait until I go to Kansas and see my grand nephew, Benny! 

Just Do It!

I recently participated in the High Ropes Challenge Course at Canyon Ranch. As one might imagine, 

I came away with some new awareness of lessons that I've already practiced many times in life. 

In order to move forward in life, you have to let go of perceived security.

In regards to the course, in order to move across the two levels of sixteen elements, between 25 and 50 feet high,  you have to let of of whatever rope or pole you're holding onto, in order to move forward. 

But what I did notice this time was that I was holding back. Why? And when it came to swinging off the big swing at the end, I talked myself out of it. Why? Because I thought about it too long. I was in my head, rather than in my body. Scary? For me? You bet! That first step off the platform, has always been a problem for me, even when I was a young swimmer, jumping off the platform into deep water was something I could never do alone. You have to Just Do It! Commit and Go for it! 

What made this jumping off, different than the time I did the zip line in Hawaii or the Paragliding in Peru or swinging from a roped tire into water? It's all simply about trusting you're safe, letting go of perceived security and receiving the support that God/The Universe has to offer. Next time, I'll JUST DO IT! 

Gerard Butler kissed me!

All last night I wanted to ask Charlie Brown another question. Why…when we know that we have to get up earlier the next morning, we can't sleep? 

What is that all about? Normally I work 10-7 but today I am working 8-5. Although I went to bed early, which I've been doing all week by the way, but for some reason my mind wouldn't calm down. It's not even like I was getting up at three to catch a plane in which case I could understand not wanting to oversleep.

My mind kept reliving the day before when Gerard Butler kissed me! Yep! That's right! Okay, well, he kissed my hand and I think it was out of pity but hey, it was still magical. 

He was grateful for the help of the team I work with, came to say thank you and kissed the hand of the young girl next to me. He noticed me and came over and kissed my hand too. He was very charming as one might imagine and yet real.  

My mind couldn't let it go and so I tossed and turned for the biggest part of the night. ICK! So now the day has begun and I'll move on…lol….but in the meantime because of the kindness of this man, I'll have a story to tell for the rest of my life! Gerard Butler kissed me! I guess I could loose one night's sleep for that! 

WHY CHARLIE BROWN, WHY? WHY DO WE CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK?

Why Charlie Brown, Why?

Why do we care if others like us or not? Why do we care what others think about us? Why is our self worth and self esteem related to our perceived opinion of others?

The past few months, increasingly, my clients are expressing concern over misunderstandings of others that leaves them feeling hurt, alone, lonely and misunderstood.

What makes it worse is that many times the other person shuts us out or doesn't want to talk about it. 

What can we do then? 

First: Identify why you care? Look deep and see if you can find a little clue to somewhere in your past where you've felt this way before and it didn't get resolved.

Example: A friend that you've felt close to, has for some reason, apparently shut you out without any apparent reason and doesn't want to talk to you about it. You can imagine how you might feel.

The Solution: Try using this current situation as a mirror to see where in the past you have felt this same way before and it never was resolved. For instance, if it's a female friend, I'd look at a mother or sister perhaps, where you've felt shut out in the past.

The Good News: Once you identify it, you can heal it. I've found in my work that these current life issues re-create themselves to show us where there is a past wound that is keeping our energy blocked, thus keeping us from moving forward in our life.

If you need help with this, email me and I'll help you figure it out!

WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?

I've discovered that one of the most important things in life is clear-direct communication. The only thing more important than being able to communicate your ideas, wants and desires clearly is knowing what it is that you want to communicate. But let's save that for a future blog. 

For now, let's talk about love languages. I first heard about this many years ago when I read a book by the same title by author Gary Chapman. It was life changing for me. One of the real issues in relationships, is that we often speak different languages. 

For instance, if you want to say "I love you," to me, you'd do something with me, spend time with me. Of course, I love affection and kind words, but spending time with me is right there at the top of my list of what makes me feel loved. Where in contrast, what I would rate as number 5 on my list, gifts, my ex-husband would have rated as number one. So he might buy me a gift, thinking he was speaking my love language, when in fact, he was speaking his.

You can see how innocently people can get their wires crossed. Maybe it would be a great thing to do at the start of this new year to rate your love language and have everyone in your family, including your children, to do the same. Once we know what is important to another, we can begin speaking in a language that they're familiar with.