PUSHING AWAY DISTRACTIONS AND SAYING YES TO SELF

Learning self care and receiving are still 2 of the life theme's I continue to work on. Since I've been to Southern California, this trip, my intent was retreat time and the opportunity to go whale watching was intriguing to me...even though it's not whale season! I thought a boat ride for $15 was a bargain! (with a coupon)! A project job came my way which hadn't left much room for retreat time! My stay was coming to an end as Sunday rolled around. The day was beautiful. I had a friend visiting from up north and she was trying to get me to go with her to downtown LA, something I would have loved to do but another friend of hers decided to take her, freeing up some time for me before attending my niece's party. I missed the first boat and the next one was at 3PM, later than I had wanted to go. But, in keeping with the self care theme, I decided to go. I called, made a reservation and away to Newport Beach I went. I bought my ticket...with my discount coupon. As I waited for the boat to arrive, a young girl, in her twenties??? came to tell her friend with a very sad and disappointed look on her face, that they had given away her reservation! I said to her, "Honey, I was going to go by myself and I have a ticket you can buy, if you like." They were both most appreciative and asked me how much was the ticket....$30? Normally, I would have said "No, $15." But, as usual, I was down to my last few dollars, literally and I said, "Yes, thank you!." (WHO ORCHESTRATES THIS STUFF??? (I now have money for the week!) They were thrilled and I was thrilled too! I walked to the parking lot and there was 11 cents with a small bit of gum, wrapped in a piece of paper. I looked up and said, "Thank you! For me, 11 in angel numbers, is angel support. For me, the gum represented angel support sticking to me and the money I had said "yes "to, was because I had honored myself with self care. I followed my intuition to go to the water, even though I could have very easily talked myself out of it. I didn't actually need to be on the boat, just the drive to the beach and be in the restful energy of the sun, water, whale and dolphin! There was a little sign in a shop downtown that reads, "If you're lucky enough to be at the beach, then you're lucky enough! And I am!

PRACTICING PRESENCE EVERY DAY

My ex-brother-in-law came to see me while I was in Southern California. After our afternoon together he had the courage to ask, "Did you skip over some of your co-dependency work...intending to come back to it later?" I didn't think so, but I asked him for his observations. One of the things we talked about was how in AA, your walk through life is practicing living life each moment of the day. CoDa - codependency recovery is the same, learning a new way of living, which I recognized I needed to do. I still can work 24/7, it feels good and comforting to me, but to carve out time for me...not that interesting, well, not that familiar. So when the depression set in, I made a list of how I was going to spend the rest of the day. It included exercising, I choose NIA Dance and a walk to the beach...and in the water. This was a great improvement for me as I didn't just EAT! After our visit, I re-read the codependency characteristics and recognized there were a few more that needed healing. In the meantime, I'll make a list and do some unfamiliar things in my daily routine, exercise and meditation we'll begin with!

SOMETIMES I FLY LIKE AN EAGLE & SOMETIMES I'M DEEP IN DESPAIR!

Here I am, alone at the beautiful beach and depression begins to rear it's ugly head once again. You may ask yourself...as I ask myself....what in the heck do you have to be depressed about? The answer comes....I'm alone with me....again! When I give myself the space, last little bits of unsettledness begin to emerge and I'm stuck with just myself and my pity party! Quick...how do I make this uncomfortableness go away? Diversion of course! No car...well a car with a bad transmission...it'll be ok...I'll just go......around the corner! Driving always makes me feel better....until a sharp jolt wakes me up....it's the transmission! 'You need to stay in your uncomfortableness,' and recognize what the feels of loneliness and anxiety are all about for the healing to begin. I'm reminded of the John Denver song....Looking for Space....'Sometimes I fly like an eagle and sometimes I'm deep in despair! That's it...that's life....it the journey...it's the up's and down's, and the down's that help me to appreciate the up's!

DOLPHIN ENERGY FOR MOVING FORWARD IN LIFE

I just arrived at the next destination on my itinerary, Huntington Beach, CA. The first 2 days had been overcast and as I was settling in, I made a conscious decision not to go to the beach. Finally today, the sun was out and about noon I started out the door. I got as far as the house next door but turned around and came back, deciding to go this evening, for no particular reason. Evening came and I headed for the pier, along with a mob of other people as it was the downtown open market. I walked to the end of the pier and looked out into the sunset and there they were...the fins gliding through the water! The dolphin! They had come to see me! (Evidently a rather rare occurrence) Certainly they came to see everyone, but for me, they had a special meaning. I had been initiated in Hawaii by the dolphin. When I returned home, I got a credit card in the mail for Evolve to Live with a dolphin on it. Then finally, my last trip to Chicago, I acquired my first tattoo...a dolphin. The dolphin for me have been a sign of spiritual support in my life that I'm happy to receive!

PEOPLE FIRST; THEN MONEY; THEN THINGS

My friend has a visitor from South Dakota and one morning I arrived early to drop something off. Her visitor came to the car and asked would I come in for breakfast. "No, Thank you," I replied, "I'm on my way to exercise class," and with that, I was off! Well, at least until I got down the road a bit and then something inside me remembered something I had heard Suzie Orman, (a financial guru) speak about, "People first, then money, then things!" I turned the car around and went back and apologized! "I'm so sorry," I began. "I nearly forgot...People first! I was happy that I had made the decision to spend time with my friend's....friend! Because in the end....when we leave this world we only take the love of our family and friends....everything else is left behind! People first, then money....then things!

A GIFT FROM THE SOUR CHERRY TREE

Recently, while I was in Grass Valley, I had the honor of working on an organic farm. It was the middle of July, hot and dry. I was working at the U-Pick site and in between avid pickers, I would pick fruit for the stand. My assignment this day was to pick from the sour cherry trees.

I strapped my picking bucket ( a shallow 1/2 circle plastic bucket) around my head, resting on my stomach and headed off to the dwarf sour cherry trees, which actually looked more like very tall bushes, (way over my head).

I noticed that up close, the cherry trees were the cherries I had always seen depicted in pictures. Their bright red color reminded me of Christmas! I began as I always do, with an introduction of myself, complimenting the tree on it's beauty (just as you would a friend), asking permission (simply showing respect) and always in gratitude for the sacred honor of being totally connected with part of creation.

The sun was very hot and so I moved inside of the tree I was completely surrounded by the branches. It felt like I was being caressed in the arms of a lover, protected from the sun, basking in the gentle breeze (spirit) that gently rustled through the branches and I was feeling protected, safe and loved. The cherries can be quite sticky, especially when the pit is occasionally left behind but it wasn't a 'sticky' I was wanting to get off in a hurry, it seemed important to savor entirely what the tree was offering.

While the tree was providing all the above mentioned gifts to me, I realized that I too was providing a gift to the tree. I was helping to lighten its load. Some of the branches were so full of cherries they were a strain on the branches. My time alone with the sour cherry tree was truly intimate encounter and a sacred honoring on both sides.

After my first day working on the organic farm, it was very clear that I had a Spiritual Encounter with the Divine right in the middle of everyday living.

BEING CONNECTED

It was while I was on my second trip to Ireland that I became fully conscious of the food I was eating. At the family's house that I was staying at, they had a very small refrigerator compared to what I had been used to in the states...something we may find in a recreational vehicle. So shopping was not a once a week excursion. Everything was bought locally from the little village. Bread was bought at the bakery, meat at the butcher shop, fish from the fresh fish shop, fruit and vegetables were purchased at the local farm stand and everything else came from the neighborhood market.

'Living in the moment,' was the norm. I came away with a new appreciation of the food and products I was consuming. When you purchase your fish with the head still attached and the eyes still open, it became a sacred exchange of awareness and gratitude, for me. I became aware of the life that had been sacrificed for my health and well-being and of another and gratitude followed; that another creature would sacrifice their life for me.

I became aware and present with everything I bought and put in my mouth. Remembering the grace that we offered before dinner as a child, all stages of nourishment, now, became a prayer.